Everyone says that hes just totally good and devoted to all humanity and that he was sent to save us and thats why he doesnt have time for a girlfriend, although I swear I saw Mary Magdalene doodling in the sand with a stick, writing Mrs. Jesus Christ and Merry Xmas from Mary and Jesus Christ and All the Apostles, with little holly leaves all around it. And Im like, Mary, are you dating Jesus? and she says, no, hes just helping me, and Im like, you mean with math? and shes like, no, to not be such a whore. And I said, but that is so incredibly sweet, and we both screamed and talked about whether we like him better when hes healing the lame or with a ponytail.