Preaching to a bear

From Glenn H. in Bizarre Hatred of Random Celebrities:

A priest, a preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee.

One day, someone commented that preaching to people isn't really hard. The real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

They decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later they're back to discuss the results.

Father Flannery, walking on crutches and with his arm in a sling, says: "Well, I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began readin' him the Catechism. Well, the bear wanted nothin' to do with me and began slappin' me around. So I grabbed me holy water and sprayed him and, Holy Mary Mother o' God, he became meek as a lamb. The bishop's comin' out next week to give him farst communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, an arm and both legs in casts, trailing an IV drip. He declaimed, "Well, brothers, y'know we don't sprinkle! I went out and found me a bear. I began t'read mah bear God's holy word! But the bear wanted nothin' to do wid me. So I took a-hold 'a him and we began to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, up another, down yet another till we came to a creek. I locked him in a full nelson, dunk'd him and baptized his hairy soul. And jus' as you say, he became genn'l as a spring lamb. We spent the rest o' the day praisin' Jesus."

They both looked at Rabbi Goldstein, who was on a hospital bed, in full body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He says "Looking back on it, circumcision may perhaps not have been the best way to start out with my bear..."

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