Mrs. Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
"Johnny, what's your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for first grade. My sister's in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too." Mrs. Brooks took Johnny to the principal's office.
The principal spoke to Johnny: "Now Johnny, if you're so smart, you should pass this test. What's 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What's 6 x 6 ?"
The principal looks at Mrs. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to third grade."
Mrs. Brooks says "Let me ask some questions. What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of?"
Mrs. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I don't?"
Mrs. Brooks: "What starts with C, ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Mrs. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
Mrs. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman sitting down and a dog on 3 legs?"
Johnny: "Shake hands."
Mrs. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?"
Mrs. Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
Johnny: "Wedding Ring."
Mrs. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Mrs. Brooks: "What word starts with F, ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"
The principal said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to the university. I got the last ten questions wrong, myself."