A Piece of Sith
By Noel Vera
Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo
Tell me that you love me and your love is still true.
You saw the "Phantom" mess, the "Clones" waded through
Don't leave while you have a dollar left to woo.
I've done all you want, what's left for me to say?
Double the action, thrice the CGI frappe.
Even got Tom Stoppard to make the drama play
(Though did he make a diff'rence? Can't tell either way)
Don't the FX matter, the ships that go "wheet!"?
Don't all that magma heat the soles of your feet?
Don't the colored flashlights send tingles up your seat?
Wasn't all that money spent good enough a treat?
Even put a polit'ckal subtext in for free
'Bout how "if not a friend, then you're my enemy"
Michael Moore it ain't, but wait a week or three--
My inbox'll fill with right-wing calumny.
My bro Coppola got me a dialogue coach
'Cuz he knows I'd rather handle a robot roach
So what if I let Hayden in his worries poach?
Humans are always so damned hard to approach.
But enough! I've called in the real big guns now;
Recycled the best stuff from "Star Wars," and how:
Like the double-sunset, and James Earl Jones' voice--wow!
Can't you tell that I'll do anything for thou?
Don't you say we're all done, that we are all through
Four movies, and still I can't get through to you.
What do you expect, when I can't even spell "poo?"
Please--hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo