A survey, answered wid total honesty

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?:


Orson Welles, calling from beyond the grave to tell me not only where the missing reels of The Magnificent Ambersons are, but the footage cut from Lady From Shanghai


2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?


No. Should I?


3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?:


Depends. If he or she has something interesting to say, I listen.


4. Do you take compliments well?:




5. Do you like to ride horses?:


They're okay. Rather eat them.


6. Did you ever go camping as a kid?


Sometimes. Haven't in decades.


7. What was your favorite game as a kid?




8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you pursue it?


Never mind sexy, what kind of movies does she like?


9. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?


Depends. What kind of sex does she like?


10. Can you speak another language?:




11. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?:


Deaf. I'd rather watch films with the close captioning turned on.


12. Do you know how to shoot a gun?:


Uh--air pistol?


13. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?




14. How often do you read books?:


Every chance I get.


15. Do you think more about the past, present or future?:




16. What is your favorite children's book?:


Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind Prefer that to either the Narnia OR Lord of the Rings books.


17. What color are your eyes?:


Brown sugar.


18. How tall are you?:




19. Last person you talked to?:


Parents on a porch, handing out candies.


20. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?:


Yes. I keep the results to scare rats.


21. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?


Once. I don't consider that dining out.


22. What are your keys on your key chain for?


One for front door, one for car, one for--I forget what that one's for.


23. Where is your current pain at?:




24. Do you like mustard?:




25. Do you look like your mom or dad?:


They're my parents. What can I do?


26. How long does it take you in the shower?


Ten minutes.


27. What movie do you want to see right now?:


Um--the reissue of Army of Shadows.


28. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?:


Do people do that?


29. What was the cause of your last accident?:


It was a Saturday night. I was with a date and there was a traffic jam in front of us--someone was arguing with a security guard. Suddenly shots rang out. I reversed the car and went the other way. More traffic. Suddenly someone rear-ended me, hard. The car reversed, ground gears, jerked up on the sidewalk, crunched itself against the side of the building, and stopped.


Found out later that was the guy arguing with the security guard. The guard had shot him in the head, and ran off; he had enough strength left in him to put his car in gear, crash into my car, and die. The stuff on the ground beside the car was probably his brains.


30. What was the strangest thing that happened to you today?:


Uh--some guy brandishing a chainsaw at me while I was walking in the sidewalk.


31. What are you drinking?:




32. Was your mom a cheerleader?:


She's got a masters in art and a business degree. I don't know about cheerleading.


33. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?:


5. Maybe 4.


34. Do you like care bears?:


Grilled and with a lemon squeezed over them, they're very good.


35. What do you buy at the movies?:


Balut. That's a duck egg 15 days old, when the fetus is formed. Very good with rock salt.


36. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?:


Depends on if they're interesting.


37. Ever been to canada?


No. Where is that?


Kidding. I'd like to.


38. Did you eat a cookie today?:




39. What do you and your parents fight about the most?


Who I went out with and who I married.


40. What's your favorite brand of water?



No comments: